I hesitated posting this, because unfortunately it’s really not that inspiring or uplifting. On the same hand I strive to be authentic on this space and we could really use some prayers.
Last week I had another routine ultrasound. I was 17 weeks and had just hit my 6 week mark of being on bed rest. I went into the ultrasound filled with great hope and expecting to hear the news that perhaps I could be off bed rest or at least with more privileges. I was feeling great and based on the past two ultrasounds the hemorrhage was continuing to decrease in size.
My doctor called shortly after I had arrived home from the appointment. She asked how I was doing and also asked if I had been having any bleeding. The second part of the question threw me a bit because I had always made sure to notify her when I did. I replied I was doing well and hoping for some good news, but her answer was not that.
She began, I have bad news your placenta has started to abrupt. Instantly the tears flowed, I knew what that was. I had read all about it. We knew there was a very, very slim possibility of it happening if the hemorrhage became worse. I couldn’t speak. I was in shock at the news. I thought things had been improving. What went wrong.
I managed to put a few words together and ask the prognosis. Would everything be okay. The answer, it could go either way at this point. Pray for a miracle. Nothing is impossible with God. Believe. Don’t give up hope. All things can be healed.
The plan of action would be a more strict bed rest and to watch and notify her of any contractions. Thankfully the bed rest still allows me to sit in a chair so I don’t have to be confined to the bed. While the walking needs to be very limited as we are trying to prevent triggering any contractions.
In all of this I am learning to trust all over again. Learning to let go. Learning to take one day at a time. Learning to live in hope. Believe me it is a slow process as I have spent many nights awake in bed frightened and afraid thinking of the worse case scenarios.
Every morning when I wake up I light a blessed candle in our living room that I look at throughout the day. I have found it to bring me great peace. It’s my constant prayer for the protection of our little one when words cannot be found. A reminder of the love and light of Christ in my life no matter what the day may bring.
This weekend we handed it over in faith as I received the anointing of the sick and a special blessing for our baby. It was so beautiful! We also visited a shrine praying for our miracle. Begging the Blessed Mother’s intercession for an outpouring of grace.
I go back next week for another ultrasound and we are praying with great faith for improvement and healing. With my current condition we have now decided to find out the gender of the baby and name our sweet little one as we don’t know how long they will be with us.
While we wait and see I am filled with hope that this beautiful life miraculously knit together and formed in secret will be sustained by the same Creator that brought it to being.
Dear Lord and Mother of God,
Hear our prayer, heal this placenta. You have knit this from the beginning, please continue the knitting of your child in Cassie’s womb. I beg you PLEASE!!! don’t take this child away from this family. You know how much this child is wanted. It is the hour of your Divine Mercy right now. Please God I beg you to pour out you mercy and save this little one. Please, Please.
Amen
Beautiful, thank you for the prayer!
Our welcome. I sent out a massive email asking to storm heaven with prayers for your baby. I’m really trying to hold back the tears as I type this. Try and rest easy.
God Bless,
Vickie
prayers are forthcoming for you and your baby and whole family…. blessings on this day Our Lady’s Birthday…..
Thank you!
Praying. ..
Appreciated, thank you!
You will remain in our thoughts and prayers for a healthy continued pregnancy.
Thank you!
Storming heaven with prayers and sacrifices. Saint Gerard intercede for Cassie, Aaron, Kolbe, Ethan and baby! St. Philomena, pray for them. St. Padre Peo, pray for them.
Thank you so much!
Praying for you, your family, and Baby. St Gianna, please intercede.
Thank you. I have a relic of St. Gianna on my night stand, we are asking her intercession as well.
Cassie, can the St. John’s community pray for you through a prayer chain? If so, I’ll have a note sent out tomorrow though email. Praying…
Yes, more prayers are certainly welcome. Thank you for thinking of us, most appreciated!
Wow Cassie. Look at all the love for you and this baby! Thank you so much for sharing something so difficult and personal and giving us all the privilege to know some of the most intimate happenings of your life. I’m wondering if you are thinking of getting a 3D and 4D ultrasound as well to see and take clearer pictures of your baby. Isn’t it interesting how all this made it so clear now to you both that you do Ned to find out the gender of the baby. What was ambiguous before is now clear to you. Anyway, certainly a ton of prayers going out. Yes, the birthday of our Lady was a special day that you let us all know (even though I’m reading it the day after!). What a beautiful bathing to celebrate lives in the womb and newly born. We are so blessed as Catholics to have so many things to celebrate. I was just telling my husband this yesterday. We Catholics love to celebrate! God is so good to God is so good to give us many things to celebrate and we should! I told him next year we should do a little something for Mary’s birthday! In the same way, you might like to “celebrate” your sweet little one in different ways too. Little milestones (she can hear now, she’s dreaming now) but also the important ones like when she’s 20 weeks old, and half way grown to love outside of you! Maybe a little something for her. Holy Heroes (in case you haven’t looked them up) has a Spiritual Adoption activity for kids which has a video and information about baby. Oddly enough they are just about exactly where you are in your pregnancy going week by week saying something about how baby is growing and praying for the life . They also have coloring pages every week of certain types of intercessions and other catechesis. It’s really good for my kids. Your kids would probably love it too. I would consider signing up to get the emails. I’m sure you already have some ways of keeping your sons involved in the pregnancy, this is just another cool idea. Not too late to get into it . In any event. I’ll be praying a rosary for your pregnancy (or 2 or 3). We all know the POWER of the rosary. Our Lady is a symbol of our spiritual warfare on this earth according to Genesis and Revelation. Also St. Michael to combat any attacks of the evil one on your hopes, your morale and your peace of mind. I hesitated to share this post on my Facebook page as my immediate thought was that you are almost like a personal friend and I would need to ask permission to share something so personal. Haha! But obviously it’s shared publicly already, so I guess it’s ok ?
Anyway watch some funny movies, pamper yourself and smile a lot.
Isn’t God so amazing that He though to give you your sons and have you quit your job to stay home just before all this drama happened?? Can you imagine if you were without your boys and were home by yourself? You have those two , homeschooling etc to focus your days on. Praise God and to Him be all the glory! Amen! By the way, St. Gianna is totally my Saint cause she was a pediatrician and mom just like me and she is also one of the chosen patron saints of the Couple to Couple League for Natural Family Planning which is the group which my husband and I teach NFP. I’m so glad the church gives us saints like her whom we can really connect with.
God bless!
Prayers for you and baby.
You’re in our nightly prayers!
Blessed by one so small.
I just wanted to let you know our prayers are being said for each and every one of you.
Yesterday when I first read your post, I wondered why. Today as I said a prayer it occurred to me that we have been Blessed by your little one. Even though we have not met this little person yet we have all been blessed by their sheer existence in our world. Look how many people have knelt down and prayed today, hugged their kids a little closer, and just stopped and took the time to look at our kids with a new appreciation, and all because of your little one. Our whole purpose in life is to help people get closer to God….. What a blessing for all of us by one so small.
Continued prayers, love, and blessings being sent your way.
Mary
Wow, thank you so much for those words! You have no idea how much they mean and have helped my heart feel so much more peace!!