Last month we celebrated the boys’ adoption day! The day is right up there with Christmas for them. We go all out and make sure to celebrate! A favorite of course is watching videos from our time in Ghana and when they first came home.
I can’t believe it has been three years since we have brought our sons home. Seems like only yesterday and yet feels like we have been together forever. It’s hard to remember and imagine our life without them!
They love hearing stories about our travels to Ghana (the craziest two weeks of my life), how they were longed for and prayed for and the excitement I had in finally getting to see their sweet beautiful smiles!!
Through these three years I have learned that there needs to be more education about adoption. It seems there is still a social stigma associated with it and unfortunately it is doing our children no good and causing more families to be reluctant to open their homes and hearts to the amazing gift.
The boys had only been home a month when we went to their first dentist appointment. The receptionist asked me for copies of our court paperwork of the adoption to prove that I was indeed their mother.
On our first bike ride with the boys, they were so excited to finally have a bicycle! From a car driving by a college aged man yells out his window in a sarcastic tone, “nice kids.”
A girl at the park was talking to my boys about her stuffed animal and how she adopted it. Explaining to my sons that she knows what adoption is, “it’s when nobody wants you.”
At an event with our family this summer and the lady next to me began to engage in some small talk. Seeing I was pregnant said, “I bet you wish you knew you could get pregnant, because then you wouldn’t have had to spend all that money adopting.”
My sons were in earshot and my jaw dropped. A moment where I would have liked to respond with anger for the incredibly hurtful comment. I could feel the tension rising up inside of me as I froze for a second. No, I responded, because then I wouldn’t have my sons. I intentionally ended the small talk from there on out.
One of the areas of adoption I feel like I am never prepared for are the questions and comments we get from random strangers when we are out in public. I easily forget that we are a multi-racial family and “stick-out” from the rest, naturally drawing attention to ourselves. This was the biggest wake-up call for me as to how ill formed the general public is on the topic.
Adoption. It’s a word that we openly use and talk about. There is not a stigma associated with it in our house. It is beautiful, messy, joyful and heart wrenching. It is being the biggest advocate for your child. Being the arms they lean into to cry when all you can do is hold them when there are no simple answers to life’s toughest questions.
Adoption was the greatest gift we’ve ever received! ❤️ You are truly blessed Cassie as is the rest of your family is to have you!!
I couldn’t agree more, as adoptive parents we are the “lucky” ones and beyond blessed!
Wow! I can’t believe how cruel and insensitive some people can be. I pray that the Holy Spirit will always guide me to use only kind words. Blessings to your family!
With some of the comments I think people are just truly ignorant not realizing how hurtful it is, not that it makes their comments okay, but helps me let go of it quicker.
I worked at a crisis pregnancy center several years and it was also heartbreaking to hear the women’s views of adoption (while they had no problem with the option of abortion–even society in general seems to think that’s a better option than adoption!!!). Even now I hear so many “good” people wording adoption as “giving up your baby” instead of “choosing adoption” or “making an adoption plan.” It drives me nuts b/c no woman will want to choose adoption for her child if people see it as “giving up” your child…such a negative stigma. I’m sorry you and your boys have to hear comments like you’ve heard. That just hurts my heart.
I have had the same experience when talking with women contemplating abortion, the idea of choosing adoption was unthinkable for them. So unfortunate there is such a stigma associated with it.