Still a Rookie

We are just about to the 10 month mark of being a family!! I am constantly amazed at how well our sons have adjusted and how our family has molded together. Every month I look back and am in awe of everything new they are learning and all that I have to learn yet. Still after 10 months I am finding out I am still a rookie at all of this.

I realize I have said this before, but it seems like our sons have been in our lives forever not just 10 months. They have stolen my heart and it will never be the same. Life seems so natural, that I easily forget the reality of how short 10 months really is.

From not knowing how to hold a crayon to perfectly coloring in the lines. From not speaking English to now knowing how to read. Yes, they have learned so, so much. Yet, during our school day I realize how much I take for granted assuming they already know. Reminders for me of the need to sometimes slow down and keep in mind it has only been 10 months.

As much as they are learning I feel as if I am learning just as much if not more. I am learning about myself and how to give completely and selflessly. I am learning how to advocate for my sons and to be proactive, always thinking one step ahead about what their needs may be.

I wish this wasn’t part of the learning curve, but I am also learning how to respond to rude comments and intrusive questions from strangers. So often I forget that our family looks different until a stranger finds it their business to remind me and in front of our sons. As much as it sets my mama bear roaring I am learning that my response is setting the stage for how my sons will respond in the future.

When the hard days come and the moments when I fail, I too need to remind myself I have only been doing this for 10 months. I am still a rookie. It’s okay to not have all of the answers, to not be the perfect mom. As much as I wish I was, it continually gives me something daily to strive for.

Still more important than my perfection is that every day our sons know the unconditional and unending love we have for them. Although we may not share the same nose or eyes, we share something much deeper. We share a bond that will not be broken and I pray that when they encounter difficulty or confusion they know the love that goes deeper. A love forever blazed in our hearts for them and a love from their Creator which cannot be fathomed.

(And just when I think I will have this parenting thing down, it will be a whole new ball game when we welcome a newborn in February and the learning curve will start completely over and I mean completely.)